The night before CAT 2010

CAT 2010 was one of my finest experience (saying bcoz the result was the best).. Hence definitely worth a description..

I am a hard core believer of partying hard before the CAT exam (will be proved at the end).. My CAT 2010 slot was similar to the CAT 2009 slot i.e. 1st day 2nd slot... My show timing was 3:30 pm to 6:00 pm (27th Nov)... This time wanted to go in a relaxed state... Hence this is how i spent the previous night.

Nov 26th (7: 30 pm) - I am getting bored feeling lill sleepy... have CAT tomorrow.. should not sleep early..hmmm,, kya karon.. Lets go for a movie... Scan for the latest movies and narrow down on one of them - BREAK KE BAAD

8:00 pm - Some 250 mad and most of them desperate junta trying to get a ticket either by hook or crook.. A guy probably college student remarks to his colleague "Suna hai chamiya (deepika) ne bahut kam kapda pehna hai"... This comment made it evidently clear that getting ticket even in black would be an ardent task... Luckily found a student of mine sumwhere in the queue and asked him to buy a ticket for me (The guy realising that its me gave me a stern look as if saying AAP BHI and i apparently replying BHAI HUM BHI INSAN HAI... )

8:40 pm- Finally i got the ticket... Started to roam about the whole complex eyeing all the steamy fosters of DP all around.. No wonder there was a stampede for a ticket ( Dont Blame the Guys..lol)...

8:55 pm- Finally the gates open and i rush to occupy my seat almost located centrally. Normally i tend to just casually tend to look around before the movie starts..But not today ( Had seen enuf at the ticket counter and was sure of the utter futility of the act)...

9;05 pm- Finally the much awaited moment comes when the movie starts.. Roars all around the theatre.. Within the first 5 minutes , had DP's entry fully cladded in a saree still the guys were so desperate that there was a huge round of whistling.. (Apparently my neighbor was disappointed at the entry and said "Isne saree kyun pehni hai" ...DP shayd bura man gayi and for the remaining movie she did not wear anything apparently even knee length ... no wonder my neighbor loved the movie)

10:15 pm- Finally a much deserved break from the movie and DP (Yes excess of everything is bad including DP).. Had managed to bring in some sprite mixed with absolute vodka which i was sipping in with childish pleasure... Full on delight (HEAVENLY)

11:30 pm- Some cinema guy comes in and wakes me up.. " Bhaiya DP chali gayi ab aap bhi jayiye"... hehe i had slept in my chair for the full 2nd half (I repented for having missed DP)... The vodka has started hitting me.. Anyways i quickly picked up my adulterated limca solution and moved out...

Midnight- Safely reached home (nothing came in my way or i wud have definitely hit it).. My head was still aching but no signs of sleep... I decided to have some more limca and with nothing to do much decided to watch MATRIX... Started with Matrix and ended at 6:30am with Matrix Revolutions... A true mental revolution was going on ( The magical combination of absolute vodka and morpheus philosophy " FREE UR MIND") Definitely i was totally free at that moment..

6;32 am - My mom calls... Just to see whether i have woken for not.. big day CAT exam (hehe)..
Oh no.. i have yet to sleep due to some health issue, electricity issue and the amalgamation of various other issues.. Told her i am feeling very sleepy. Please wake me up at 12:30 so that i can leave by 1:30 pm for the center.. I told her this bit and hung the phone.

TO be continued..

Snap !!

Yesterday took a look at your snap

Desperately started searching for your lap

Apparently aware of its absence on my map

Losing my nap in all this apparent crap

Just want to constantly admire your beauty

For I feel it is my sacrosanct duty

Somebody stop me from getting addicted

This drug is the only way I will be perished

Hoping myself to be infinitely strong

And expecting to go on and on

I somehow always prove myself wrong

But seems I am on some endless song

You are an essence I will always miss

I will probably die in the search of that one magical kiss

It completely fits my definition of complete bliss

The chances of fulfilling which is anybody’s guess

Serendipity

Accepting the universal ‘truth’ of being a social human

We all act in a terribly discomforting monotonous unison

How can we call we so ignorant so get lured by this illusion

Life is definitely a more vibrant and colorful fusion

We all are motivated by the same materialistic things

Surely we can’t be so childish to sacrifice our own wings

I dare to fly against all the worldly illusionary pains

Which the society creates to corrupt my brains

Call me insane, call me mad

I somehow know I am not that bad

Yes the world has definitely made me bitterly sad

But no longer can I sit with my hand on hand

Let me sing and dance till this world blasts

Alas! I can do this till this madly bliss lasts

It’s a dream I have always cherished

How wonderful will it be to get perished?

My tryst with gals finally ends

My tryst with gals finally ends

For there are huge past mistakes I need to amend

They always land me in miserable situations I cannot withstand

Is it too staunch a message to send?

It’s the time to act insane

Once again be hearty and hale

Forget all the associated misery and pain

For which apparently there is no gain

I hope I can keep up my word

For breaking it would be something completely weird

You never know I may just end up as a nerd

For it is love itself I am up against

Love is not pure or divine

For it is the business of all witches and swines

I wish to fall in love with a shrine

If not anything at least I can claim its mine

Breakup

Constantly breaking the various pristine dreams saw in unison

Butchering the myriad embellish promises made in blissful madness

I try to move on with utter sincerity and dedicated consciousness

Every day starting afresh with a new vengeance just to fail in cheer elegance

Knowing very well the majestic essence I carry of you in every sense

Surely it must be utter nonsense to think of you in every essence

And to keep hesitantly waiting for you endlessly at the fence

But I claim to have my one sided love in defense

With memories being my only fortune to cherish

I hold back my mind, thinking if I would perish

Surely I cannot be so silly to think so childish

But your absence makes my life so pale and bearish

I can endlessly pray to God in wishful hopes of getting you back

Though somewhere I am out rightly afraid to face the brunt again and be sacked

Surely I need to have immense faith as emotions is not something I lack

But I need to pay homage to your illusionary knack

Illusion..

Have you ever looked at a child closely? Always ready to do what there they want to. They absolutely defy all senses of time and logic and lead their own independent life. Perhaps I have never felt freer than in my childhood. Ironically I was overly dependent on others even to carry out my basic daily activities let alone other complex tasks. If I had some sense then probably I would have wanted myself to be physically more independent. As ironical as life is, today as I write this I have all the physical and financial freedom I ever wanted but yet my mind has been hopelessly tamed at every step. There is always a constant tussle going on between me and my image in the society. And I have reached a stage where possibly it is impossible to judge whether a desire is a genuine one or just a manifestation of these flawed societal norms.

At each stage I am expected to act in a mature manner like grownups do. So I m constantly advised not to indulge in childish acts and not take irrational decisions which I cannot justify. Why doesn’t anyone expect me to be just happy and help me work out a way towards it? Why are we trying to build people as clones of each other and thus occupying their befitting functions based on false judgmental parameters of limited human perception. I remember when I was a kid, I loved playing basketball. The passion for the game is still there though it has been over 5 years since I have even touched the ball. Why cant I just run to a basketball field and play with those kids as If I was one of them? Why cant I just get wet in the first rain of the season wearing a business suit? I ask myself these questions and fall into a lull silence. Perhaps to blame anyone would be wrong as the decision to unlearn or ignore the misguided and tainted path of the society is ultimately an individual’s choice. Yes but today I really miss the mental freedom I had as a child… I want to be a child again and do silly things.