The Epitome Dilemma

A familiar dilemma, that I have often experienced in my life which I would like to share is the Epitome Dilemma..A beautiful example of this has been illustrated in the book “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse. In this particular masterpiece, Siddhartha, the central character aims to seek salvation and thus wanders from one place to another before having a chance encounter with Lord Buddha. Siddhartha understands that Buddha has achieved that very thing which he has always wanted to achieve. He heard his teachings with immense patience but decided to move on since he believed that a profound experience such as salvation cannot be taught and hence needs to be experienced. In this context, comes the following statement.

“No teachings will entice me anymore, since this man's teachings have not enticed me.”

Siddhartha had touched the epitome with regards to teaching  and hence he knew that teachings would no longer satisfy him. In a way this was liberating, since it provided him with a clear vision of his path forward. On the other hand, it was onerous since reaching the pinnacle of a particular experience could amount to stagnancy and lead to a standstill for no superior experience exists. Thus, in my opinion, this leads to a dependency relation whereby due to dearth of superior options and apparent dissatisfaction with the lower options, there remains only one and one option i.e. the epitome. This phenomenon can be substantiated with the following examples.

1)    In the winter of 2013, I had this pleasure of visiting Mount Abu with my friend. On this visit, I paid a visit to the much famed Dilwara Temple and I still fall awfully short of apt vocabulary for ably capturing the majestic architecture of that place. I honestly believe that it is the epitome of all Jain temples and while I am pleased at the opportunity of visiting this marvel, I am aware that henceforth, I will not be able to approach other Jain temples with the same degree of enthusiasm as before as subconsciously a comparison would always be drawn.

2)    In my family, I am aware of this member who waited for more than 40 years before she could find anyone who could understand her. Luckily, that person happens to be me. However, this realisation while having provided a closure to a quest that spanned more than four decades has actually complicated matters somewhat for her. This is primarily because with me in the equation now, she does not feel like talking too much to other relatives and thereby the relationship with me is strengthening while the ties with others are witnessing erosion. In the process, she is becoming so dependent on me that at times it feels scary to imagine her without me.

3)    Moving on to a fictitious example, Penny from the Big Bang Theory before dating Leonard the nerd dated good looking guys with no brains. However, ever since dating Leonard, Penny understood the importance of intellect and thus lost the ability of hanging out with her usual type. Thus, as the sitcom unfolds, Penny shares a love and hate relationship with Leonard where she can’t date other guys who are dumb but cannot find anyone who is intellectually more stimulating and hence eventually settles for Leonard.

The above stated instances make me wonder whether the introduction of better choices in our lives truly simplify our lives or make them infinitely more complex. While a superior choice may lead us to epitome of ecstasy but an obvious downside of this is that it enables us to lucidly view the sheer futility and incompleteness of the lesser options that may be available. Further, the living of a superior experience, that to on a consistent basis makes us so accustomed to the experience that inferior options gradually cease to exist. The existence of superior options may be dubious and at times elusive and hence essentially this narrows down our choice to a single choice – clearly a situation which may truly backfire. So next time, when you celebrate a superior experience do consider this downside of making inferior option hackneyed and irrelevant. However, the more fundamental question which remains unanswered if even if one grasps the epitome fallacy before making a choice, which choice should one make.. Frankly, I don’t know as there is a potential downside to either of the available options and thus it boils down to the given individual.

Random Thought -I

As per a survey by a reputed UK based agency, nearly 50% of the people read newspapers while consuming food (usually breakfast) or while sitting in the loo. Considering all the highlighted wrongs that are being committed around the world, I wonder do newspapers aid in digestion.. Are we so accustomed to these news that we don't even get perturbed by it and somewhere in the sub-conscious console ourselves about the apparent "happiness" from the stale and meaningless life we have. Are we so callous that we cannot even apparently sob at someone's loss who is not ours.. forget about doing something constructive.. I wonder is the divide between ours and theirs so strong.. Is humanity dead..

Generation Z – A plea to consider

Sometime back was browsing through the newspaper when this particular news article caught my eye. It was about Aarav, Akshay’s son who at a tender almost docile age (especially when interpreted from the perspective of Generation X and Y), is a columnist and also an entrepreneur. I cannot help myself being awed by the immense talent and insatiable hunger of this generation. Right from various reality shows that highlights their talent to sports and other fields, the showpieces of their excellence are spread everywhere. They are a beacon of hope judging by their immense potential and have the requisite ability to prove to be a game changer going forward. On the other hand, I see the gradually declining strength of morality and ethical values where individualism is no more a choice but a celebrated necessity. This “individualism” unfortunately has been perceived as an open license for achieving growth or success irrespective of the underlying mechanism for our current society puts a tremendous emphasis on intermingling success and satisfaction. While the Generation Z presents a hope, but it also paves way to a grave question with regards to where they are heading and what they have in store for their much hyped future. Powered by an overwhelming intellect (IQ) and internet as the knowledge powerhouse, it apparently seems like sky is the limit for these teens. But the pertinent and infinitely more relevant question is whether these energies are channelized towards the right direction.

India is in a state of flux especially as individuality is slowly and surely permeating through the traditional fabric of collectivism. Generation Z powered by this western force is propelling itself towards the fulfillment of materialistic goals and ambitions. However, one cannot help thinking about the moral and spiritual goals for which even the West has always looked at the East. We may admire the creative mind of Steve jobs but we cannot afford to do so without appreciating the role that his stay in India played in this endeavor. The 21^st century India is a dangerous place especially for the generation Z which is blissfully unaware of the traditional fabric and is increasingly driven by materialistic desires. The so called independence achieved at a early age often serves as a rational argument for weakening family ties but one cannot resist asking the merits of independence. This is primarily because of our over reliance on technology and the material gains it is often used for. However, in the false notion of independence, these are increasingly becoming distant from fellow human beings and well humanity has become old fashioned so to say.

We may constantly harp about the demographic dividend we enjoy as a nation but as a dedicated citizen of my nation, honestly I have cry of anguish. The generation Z is being brought up in a society which apparently makes huge noises about individual freedom right from food choices to sexual preferences but is seemingly so indifferent to the real issues. Let’s take a look at some of these issues.

1)    Right from the PM to any elite, one buzz word that is omnipresent is women empowerment. Seriously, women empowerment in nation where 50% of the females get married below the age of 18. Without education and essential life skills, how do we ensure empowerment of women. I will narrate the Indian way. First, cripple them for life by discriminating them from birth (even before birth), not providing them education, exposing them to physical, mental and sexual abuse in a manner that it gets engrained into their heads and getting them married before they achieve adulthood. Then, the government and society(through NGO’s) step in by offering crutches in the form of SHG, farm employment and all those fucking yojanas named after you know who. Please spare a second and pardon my ignorance but enlighten me is this women empowerment.

2)    A recent survey estimated that more than 50% of the rapes happen when women go to relieve themselves in nearby fields. While this is a known fact, but this has been often linked with need for sanitation. But pardon my ignorance, are males in this country so desperate. While we may evoke passion regards “ethical” treatment of cow and we being the descendents of “Lord Ram” but i wonder how come no one talks about these issues in open. Our “culture” is maligned in by Valentines Day while words like prostitution, sex, menstrual cycle still remain a taboo but our great culture “RAMRAJ” is positively served with souls who rape hapless women going about their daily chores.

3)    We live in an information era where we are aware of every minute happening at the click of the button. While it is supposed to make us more informed, but this has robbed us of our sensitivity and today other people’s sufferings have become news. Recently, I read about this girl from Bihar who went to the hospital due to some illness and was raped by the doctor and two constables. To make matters worse, they kept on blackmailing her for one year for money. Finally, the girl somehow managed to gain enough courage to tell her parents about the horrendous incident. Luckily the parents were supportive and hence the matter ended up to court where more than 1 year has passed and the prosecutor (who happens to be a female) advises the victim to withdraw the case as the chances of justice are very slim. Besides, the family for the last one year has been living in constant threat from various quarters. The girl frustrated from the whole episode decides to commit suicide. Her last words “ I will not get justice and I cannot move forward”.

Reactions:

·      Is desh ka kuch nahi ho sakta..

·      Poor girl..

·      Koi option nahi tha ladki ke pass.

·      Corrupt judiciary..Corrupt country

·      Subah subah depressing news mat sunao..

·      Zamana bahut kharab ho gaya hai..

·      Ye sab to common hai..

Surprise. Surprise.. – Not even a single tear for the parents for the girl.. Not even an intent to improve things.. Beta badey hoke kya banega.. Engineer or Doctor.. Mommiee uhh..Social worker.. Are you mad? How will you earn a living.. Tumhari shaadi kaise hogi.. How would you feed your kids..

My question:

1)    How would you ensure that your sisters and loved one are safe (By keeping them indoor after 6pm.. By telling them what to wear and what not)

2)    How would you ensure that some mishap does not happen with your wife?

3)    How would you ensure that your kid is not molested?

Dear GenZ

A discontented Gen Y soul makes a passionate appeal to please consider the above matters and other related issues which are a zillion times more pressing than temples, religious choices, sexual preferences and more important that when Salman would get married and who is dating Katrina. I am a fan of your infinite ability, desire, insatiable hunger and your potential to be a torch bearer for not my beloved nation but for mankind. You have lesser shackles, you are indeed free and hence I have high aspirations banking on your responsible shoulders. Believe me no money or fame can ever match that smile you manage to bring on someone’ face. Our country is bleeding and I know you can provide feasible answers to these issues. Hope you seize this moment to pave a path that you truly deserve. And please do not wait till that ill-fated next news which is a tragedy involving your beloved ones. 

The need for eternal truth

At times we come across some movies that alter the way you perceive life. One such movie that i happened to view recently is “The Man from Earth”. The movie essentially resolves around a character that is a college professor and at his farewell discloses to his fellow professors that he is a 14,000 year old cave man. Amazed by this “weird” but fascinating confession, his colleagues who hailed from streams such as biology, history, philosophy, scientology started quizzing him to verify his claim. However, the beauty and bane of such a claim is that the part supported by historical data can be assumed to be the obvious truth and the part not supported by historic data can be assumed to be false. Thus, the fascinated audience cannot dispute the testimony but simultaneously could not agree with the same.

However, considering the impossibility of the story, they decide to continue with it to kill the otherwise humdrum and the conversation takes an unexpected turn when it is asked if the character has been a significant religious figure in the past. Initially reluctant to answer and rightly so considering the audacity of the answer that followed, the central character finally unveils that he was Jesus and the religion contours that exist in the present day are not only starkly different from those intended but are preposterous to say the least. He discloses how a simple teaching actually developed into a new religion called as Christianity with a plethora of wrong activities and misinterpretations. He claims to give a new version of “The Old Testament” in just ten sentences which essentially actually captured the soul of the religion. Over and above, the various ceremonies and rituals are just reckless embellishments added to serve all ulterior motives besides salvation. However, this idea that there present religion is at best “a grand and ineffective embellishment of the “external truth” was not acceptable to the people present especially to the scientologists as surely the idea of God is assumed to be so fundamental to the existence of the world that it is not even open to a honest reconsideration. So strong was the reaction against this move that the central character had to eventually admit that we was lying and trying to fool around.

The above episode paves way for a more fundamental question with regards to the need and presence of an eternal truth. Most human beings have this inevitable need of an eternal truth or belief about which their life evolves. This eternal truth could be in the form of religion, existence of life in the other world, existence of a particular relation for lifetime be it our lover, parents, friends, siblings etc. We all are aware about this fundamental essence of life that the only constant thing in life is change. While most of us know this, but the bigger and most pertinent question is whether we mentally are willing to embrace change and be receptive to the fundamental idea that so called “absolute and eternal truth” is essentially transient in nature and hence evolutionary. I strongly believe that, except the obvious facts which are irrefutable, all others are either opinions or judgments and the element of truthfulness imparted to these are not intrinsic but rather stems from the intensity of belief with which one wants to believe in these. An interesting element here is that a plethora of times (both consciously and unconsciously), the so called eternal truth more than our belief stems from our deep-rooted need to build our lives around a static platform which is immortal. Often, we don’t realise it but in our most testing times we turn to these so called “eternal truths” which provide solace to out disturbed souls and provide us comfort against suffering. This “eternal truth” helps in allowing us to make a sense of this chaotic world which otherwise is perhaps meaningless but our perception essentially transforms this into a cause and effect relationship.

I wonder what is so naive or preposterous of this idea that essentially any belief is true only till the time it seems true and probably there is no eternal truth because of the intrinsic hollowness of every belief. I believe it allows us to be free and better embrace the “meaningless” nature of life and enhance adaptability of life. Let us stop making sense of life as it is or has been or for that matter will be but start living it completely without prejudice, meaning and fear of what beholds the future. Unfortunately, we spend so much time making sense of life as per our eternal truth and framing responses that at times may digress us from our own self-imposed and must celebrated objectives. It’s high time that we realise that there is no eternal truth and perhaps its time for us to be more open, less scared and embrace the fact that there are a zillion versions of truth as it is a fig of our imagination hence each one of us is equally correct and equally wrong.

500 Days of Summer !!

500 days of summer !!

No it has nothing to do with summer season. It is a Hollywood movie (a love story) which revolves around a gal known as SUMMER and how she influences a person,s life in 500 days. The lead actor (dont remember the name ..lets call him X) and lead actress (summer) are supposedly in love and then one day suddenly the gal (summer) marries someone else voluntarily.

A scene towards the last touched me a lot. After her marriage the gal comes to meet Mr. X, and X wants to know why she married someone else. She replied that with Mr. X she never felt the need to settle down and when she met this another guy (Mr. Y), she felt she had to settle down. And apparently she could not give any logical reason for not settling with Mr. X besides her feeling. However she did confess that she still loved Mr. X and had a fabulous time with him . I kind off loved and hated the girl at the same time. I loved her for the candid confession of the exact feelings. However i guess that is the precise reason i hated her !!

But yes i think that scene really shook me. Why are we so concerned in defining the relationship ? Why we constantly give input based on where we can take this relationship ? Why dont we focus on the present and use it to the fullest with our loved one ? Is it so important to tag every relationship? I mean if i look at my relation also, all i have been doing is trying to define the future prospect of the relationship that too to no vain. Why the hell didnt i spend those beautiful moments i could have spent with her without thinking of where it was going and where i wanted to take it ? The only logical explanation i can garner at this moment is the fear of being emotionally hurt.

However i feel that i have been totally wrong throughout. There is absolute no guarantee that any relationship would last the distance or not. For example, there may be mutual love between a boy and a girl, yet they may not be able to take it to marriage due to umpteen external factors. Even if they marry, they may not lead a good relationship or may decide to separate in the future. All these are found to result in a lot of pain. Hence i guess the best thing is to live and enjoy the time you get to spend with your loved one without being too analytical on where it is actually heading (Bcoz most likely you would not be able to control the ultimate fate)...

Just one last thing for the gal i still love, if u happen to read this someday in your life .. I would like to tell you "I am sorry for not giving you what i cud have during those 2-3 years" (just kept thinking about the net 30 years that never came )..

Defining the Limit !!

The most difficult for me has always been defining the limit. Every passion that goes out of control becomes a obsession. But to judiciously draw a line between the two is an ardent task. I can always think of that particular scene in the movie BORDER when Sunny Deol walks towards the Pakistan Border and terms it as courage while his colleague calls it insanity. Even though the task of identifying limits may be pain taking but it is definitely worth the pain as probably there are very few things in our life where are absolute must for our living.

I remember during our 11-12th standard at DPS, we were literally trained as terrorists for cracking IIT-JEE. We were constantly taught that our sole purpose to be born on this planet is to get through the prestigious gates of IIT (seems ridiculous but true). I was amongst one of the many students who believed this to be true and IIT became a passion and dont know when an obsession. Similarly during engineering days, i kept preparing for civil services with a lot of passion, just to sit here five years down the line, not having even filled the UPSC form even once.

I loved/love (confused..) this gal whom i wanted/want to settle with for the past 3 years. But now i think the right time has passed and it stays with me with just an obsession whose utility will end as soon as the mission would be accomplished. I think probably these are the three instances in life when i have been not able to segregate my passion and obsession. Ironically i have been unsuccessful in achieving all the three, but yet i claim to lead a happy life at this very moment.

Bottom line is " DEFINE THE LIMITS, THERE ARE THINGS WHERE YOU CAN UTILIZE YOUR PASSION WITHOUT GETTING INTO OBSESSION "

Random Thought XIV

Boy to Girl: I can commit suicide by jumping from your ego to your IQ !!