Well i have been reading quite a lot offlate during my training at chennai and i guess i have come across a very basic reality which i believe tht we really do nt understand.
"Most human beings behave in a certain manner because they expect themselves to be treated in the same manner by the other person"
The basic assumption ofcourse being that the person is behaving naturally ...And since the natural behaviour varies with relationship so does the expectation..
What essentially i want to say is tht we are unconsiousally always setting up examples which we want people to imitate.Further if we dwell on this statement i believe we can draw the conclusion that intrinsically at a subconcious level human beings are selfish , hence they always set up examples to imulate... Mind u im nt saying tht humanity and charity are illusionery concepts. I am a great believer and implementer of humanism..
Another explanation we can draw is also that every human being thinks his rationale is right so are his actions unless questioned...But i guess there are ppl including me i guess who actually enjoy their rationale being challenged bcoz i guess whenevr something is questioned evolution happens... and hence it is the prime source of self development...
Hence within the limited ambit of my experiences and acquaintances i wud tend to confer more with the EXAMPLE SETTING theory..... The implications of this could be pretty profound..
Imagine i meet a person X and i wnt to have a freindship with him all i need to do is study his/her behaviour with his/her friends and i m pretty sure i will get a very good idea of wht X expects from friendship...Weather i m actually able to deliver it or not is a different matter..
I do nt think that most ppl actually understand this... I believe that understanding this small thing cn go a long way in removing the small operational issues existing in ones relationship..
Please note that all views accepted are as per my own whims and have no absolute authenticity besides my limited purview of thinking....
4 comments:
Well have read this post so far just once and would have liked to read this once or twice more before commenting but right now in little hurry :)
Two comments that I would like to make first as far as charity is concerned, when I do that I am somewhere selfish in that too as I do it for MY happiness. Secondly don't agree with the point that person should first study his/her friends to know what he expects. I believe friendship or relation should invlove people who are natural, doing things against your nature for someone is not acceptable. So what if the person doesn't behave according to what you expect aleast he is honest to you.
More comments when I will understand it more.
It is a well written passage but I partially agree to the point that human beings behave in a certain manner because they expect themselves to be treated in the same manner. I behave in a manner suitable according to me but if the other person also follows the same (not departing from what he/she actually is)towards me, I tend to have an inclination towards him. I think that is human nature. I dont agree with two points mentioned in the passage. I think the rationale of an individual should be questioned by himself firstly before being questioned by others. I think it will be the best self development activity. Secondly, I dont think one's expectation from friendship can be judged by studying one's behaviour with his/her friends as I think that will not be an exact replica of his/her friendship towards me.
well.. would just want to say.. that if one starts judging ppl.. he/she would not be able to form strong friendships with them.. u would know hw u can be friends with that person.. but would u like it his/her way..
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