The Epitome Dilemma

A familiar dilemma, that I have often experienced in my life which I would like to share is the Epitome Dilemma..A beautiful example of this has been illustrated in the book “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse. In this particular masterpiece, Siddhartha, the central character aims to seek salvation and thus wanders from one place to another before having a chance encounter with Lord Buddha. Siddhartha understands that Buddha has achieved that very thing which he has always wanted to achieve. He heard his teachings with immense patience but decided to move on since he believed that a profound experience such as salvation cannot be taught and hence needs to be experienced. In this context, comes the following statement.

“No teachings will entice me anymore, since this man's teachings have not enticed me.”

Siddhartha had touched the epitome with regards to teaching  and hence he knew that teachings would no longer satisfy him. In a way this was liberating, since it provided him with a clear vision of his path forward. On the other hand, it was onerous since reaching the pinnacle of a particular experience could amount to stagnancy and lead to a standstill for no superior experience exists. Thus, in my opinion, this leads to a dependency relation whereby due to dearth of superior options and apparent dissatisfaction with the lower options, there remains only one and one option i.e. the epitome. This phenomenon can be substantiated with the following examples.

1)    In the winter of 2013, I had this pleasure of visiting Mount Abu with my friend. On this visit, I paid a visit to the much famed Dilwara Temple and I still fall awfully short of apt vocabulary for ably capturing the majestic architecture of that place. I honestly believe that it is the epitome of all Jain temples and while I am pleased at the opportunity of visiting this marvel, I am aware that henceforth, I will not be able to approach other Jain temples with the same degree of enthusiasm as before as subconsciously a comparison would always be drawn.

2)    In my family, I am aware of this member who waited for more than 40 years before she could find anyone who could understand her. Luckily, that person happens to be me. However, this realisation while having provided a closure to a quest that spanned more than four decades has actually complicated matters somewhat for her. This is primarily because with me in the equation now, she does not feel like talking too much to other relatives and thereby the relationship with me is strengthening while the ties with others are witnessing erosion. In the process, she is becoming so dependent on me that at times it feels scary to imagine her without me.

3)    Moving on to a fictitious example, Penny from the Big Bang Theory before dating Leonard the nerd dated good looking guys with no brains. However, ever since dating Leonard, Penny understood the importance of intellect and thus lost the ability of hanging out with her usual type. Thus, as the sitcom unfolds, Penny shares a love and hate relationship with Leonard where she can’t date other guys who are dumb but cannot find anyone who is intellectually more stimulating and hence eventually settles for Leonard.

The above stated instances make me wonder whether the introduction of better choices in our lives truly simplify our lives or make them infinitely more complex. While a superior choice may lead us to epitome of ecstasy but an obvious downside of this is that it enables us to lucidly view the sheer futility and incompleteness of the lesser options that may be available. Further, the living of a superior experience, that to on a consistent basis makes us so accustomed to the experience that inferior options gradually cease to exist. The existence of superior options may be dubious and at times elusive and hence essentially this narrows down our choice to a single choice – clearly a situation which may truly backfire. So next time, when you celebrate a superior experience do consider this downside of making inferior option hackneyed and irrelevant. However, the more fundamental question which remains unanswered if even if one grasps the epitome fallacy before making a choice, which choice should one make.. Frankly, I don’t know as there is a potential downside to either of the available options and thus it boils down to the given individual.