Illusion..

Have you ever looked at a child closely? Always ready to do what there they want to. They absolutely defy all senses of time and logic and lead their own independent life. Perhaps I have never felt freer than in my childhood. Ironically I was overly dependent on others even to carry out my basic daily activities let alone other complex tasks. If I had some sense then probably I would have wanted myself to be physically more independent. As ironical as life is, today as I write this I have all the physical and financial freedom I ever wanted but yet my mind has been hopelessly tamed at every step. There is always a constant tussle going on between me and my image in the society. And I have reached a stage where possibly it is impossible to judge whether a desire is a genuine one or just a manifestation of these flawed societal norms.

At each stage I am expected to act in a mature manner like grownups do. So I m constantly advised not to indulge in childish acts and not take irrational decisions which I cannot justify. Why doesn’t anyone expect me to be just happy and help me work out a way towards it? Why are we trying to build people as clones of each other and thus occupying their befitting functions based on false judgmental parameters of limited human perception. I remember when I was a kid, I loved playing basketball. The passion for the game is still there though it has been over 5 years since I have even touched the ball. Why cant I just run to a basketball field and play with those kids as If I was one of them? Why cant I just get wet in the first rain of the season wearing a business suit? I ask myself these questions and fall into a lull silence. Perhaps to blame anyone would be wrong as the decision to unlearn or ignore the misguided and tainted path of the society is ultimately an individual’s choice. Yes but today I really miss the mental freedom I had as a child… I want to be a child again and do silly things.